Who do I think I am???

Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?  They are higher than the heavens–what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave–what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea. – Job 11:7-9 (NIV)

Job and his closest three friends had a long discussion over Job’s plight. He’d lost all his possessions and all of his children to calamities. Job at first would not blame God for his situation, but his friends got to jabbering with him and led him down the path to complaintsville. He now began teetering with them over who knows what about God and life and Job’s plight. His friends mock him and scorn him for expressing his feelings, not a good place to be.

When I read the quote above from Zophar to Job, I immediately heard in my heart, “who do you think you are?” At first I thought it my have been myself or even the enemy trying to get me to question my position with God. However, I sensed that stillness in the asking, so I again took immediate notice of what was said. Who do I think I am?

I grew up being ridiculed by peers and scoffed at by others and belittled by many because I didn’t kowtow to the peer pressure of what everybody else was doing. I was brought up right and taught right from wrong. My moral values were set early on in life by my God-fearing parents, so I didn’t necessarily want to be involved in the pranks and other shenanigans my peers pulled. Thus, I have a great appreciation for Job’s position and take on things.

Then it hit me, though, that the Spirit of God was asking who I think I am right now in time. I’ve come along way since those childhood days and turned a corner long ago where I swore that people were never again going to treat as they did then. Somewhere along that way, pride set in and got hold of be terribly. For a long time, I thought I knew it all and could do it all. Well, that perspective cost me dearly in lost family and friends and employment. All is better now thanks to God’s grace and mercy and forgiveness.

But, still, who do I think I am? God took me out of a job that sent me into deep depression, made me angry daily, and twisted me into a pretzel mentally that some thoughts went down a path that would not have ended well, but thankfully that never materialized. I questioned God continuously and still do from time to time, but back then it was out of frustration and anger. God set me free and gave me a new start on life. Even now, I still have my moments where I see more chaos than control because I am in a field I know little to nothing about, using tools I’ve never used, and learning so much so fast that my head spins daily! So I get a little annoyed and frustrated at times.

Then God reminds me that I had to learn the lesson of being content in all situations whether I have everything or nothing. I did that one on the last job, but the Spirit said today, “do you despise my provision?” That one will halt you in your tracks fast! I had to lock my heels, cool my jets, and put my thinking hat on! NO! I don’t despise his provision even though the situation may compound my life and make me uneasy because I feel like a fish out of water. It’s a control factor to a great deal. If I were more acquainted with the field I’m now in or had more experience, I’d have a greater understanding and ease of doing what I do.

Hence, I get Zophar’s complaint, “Who do I think I am?” Do I know more than God? Aren’t his ways higher than mine? Are his thoughts beyond mine? Aren’t I supposed to decrease that he may increase? Isn’t supposed to be his will be done on earth as it in heaven, not mine? YES! YES! YES! Thus, I have to humble myself under the mighty hand of God and complain about nothing and in everything give thanks! HE IS my Provider and Sustainer! HE IS my Lord and Savior! HE IS my Father! HE IS my Redeemer! HE IS my Brother! HE IS my Friend! HE IS my  Helper! HE IS my ALL-IN-ALL!

Father, thank you for being you! Thank you for your gift of eternal life! Thank you for your grace and mercy that saved me from death! Thank you for Jesus! Thank you for your Spirit! Thank you for love and peace and joy and patience and gentleness and goodness and humility and faithfulness and self-control! May all of these be found in me because you live in me and with me and for me! Help me to always see the other side of the situation in that I could be homeless or jobless or broke or busted or disgusted! You gave me what I have, and for that I am grateful. Yes, You know that I get frustrated at times and pop a cork but no longer at others but at myself. I need to maintain integrity at all times. Help me to be a better person with lots of love, mercy, grace, wisdom, and understanding. Help me to look at others and try to understand things from their perspective within reason so long as it aligns with your mission and truth! Your will be done, honestly, not mine. In Jesus’ name, Amen.